The where and the what

Life is bemusing and rewarding.

I've spend the last couple months of my life being utterly swept off my feet by my boyfriend Charley. He amazes me more and more every day. I really got lucky this time.

It's such a great thing to find someone with whom you can feel so comfortable/trusting/relaxed/happy/excited. There was never any part of my personality I felt I needed to "ease" him into. He just fit.

Work has been, well, work. I'm not feeling too excited about what I'm doing these days. I think I'm just ready for a vacation (which is coming up in a couple months!!).

Logan had come into town, and it was great to get to hang out with him. Nobody does active thought like Logan. We made some rad matching outfits to wear to Long Beach pride.

LB pride weekend was the first time I had the privilege of meeting Charley in person.

I've been stressing out over finances lately, but I just need to learn to calm the fuck down. It's bizarre how mindsets change over time. I've got money in savings, stocks, and my 401(k) is healthy too. I shouldn't worry about such things.

Maybe I'm just frustrated because I know there's so much I'd do for Charley if I could. Why must so many things demand so much money? I would take him around the world if I could. I would fly him to Paris just to go to an American restaurant if he so desired (do they have those in France??).

Okay, here's a total aside, but I sometimes think I am a horrible undeserving person.

Whoops. I guess my nightcap is kicking in.

It's hard having a boyfriend in another city. Charley is beautiful, and I'd love to be able to hold him all the time, or call him up and ask him over. I shouldn't complain though, Dr. Furious lives on the other side of the country from his girlfriend. If it's worth it, it's worth it.

Furious is thinking about a trip to San Diego!!! That would be so rad! The last time he came here, I realized how fucking much I miss him in this little city (City mini™). He is one of the most amazing individuals I know. I admire him, and strive to learn from him.

Radom thought: E*TRADE is nice.

Another random though: I sometimes think I keep myself from getting close to people because I'm afraid of losing them. I think this is why I take so long to warm up to people sometimes.

Tomorrow I get to see Charley, and I can't wait. I just want to see his smile and hold him closely.

June 23, 2005 | 10:03 PM | Link | 1 comments

When I grow up...

...Oh, why wait?!

The next job I have, I'm going to lie about my age. I'm going to say I'm 60 years old and wear makeup and forget to wipe to convince as such. I'm going to walk into a high-level position in a Fortune 500 company and do a horrible job at it.

I will lie, wear way too much cologne, and be 100% unaccountable for my actions. I will promise the world and deliver naught of any substance. I will cut the throat of the corporation I work for so they bleed money. I will make enemies at every turn.

I will do my best to make sure they want to fire me.

And when they do try to get rid of me, I'll sue. I'll sue, and they'll settle and meet my every demand! I'll fly away to a little cottage, remove my makeup with expensive brand-name cotton balls, and smile at how easy it all was.

It works. I've seen it work. So that's exactly what I'll do.

June 3, 2005 | 4:52 PM | Link | 1 comments

It went all the way down

Finding out who Deep Throat was turned out so anticlimactic.

I much prefer this version of the story.

June 1, 2005 | 10:46 PM | Link | 2 comments

Findlerschpeldt

Findlerschpeldt is a word I just made up. Its a word that describes the jubilant feeling one gets when he thinks he's used the last tissue, but then sticks his hand in the box to find that there's still a whole lot of layer-y goodness to be had.

Yes, Jägermeister, Theraflu, Allegra, Nasal Steroids, q-tips, and findlerschpeldt are all I need to have a good night's sleep.

* Do not ask what I used the q-tips for. You might vomit if you knew.

June 1, 2005 | 10:39 PM | Link | 0 comments

Ending a cycle

I've been ill for nigh on two weeks now. I went to the doctor today, and he gave me some nasal steroids and Allegra. We hope this will stop the post-nasal drip which always causes these sore throats.

Still tonight my throat hurts, and I've taken theraflu with a nice little drink. It's sort of a variation on the wonderful Charley's Sick Tip #2, which I'd lived on through the early part of last week.

I hadn't mentioned this in any post I've made publicly readable, but I have a boyfriend now. I just can't stop saying it, because I'm so glad to have met him. He really is just what the doctor should have ordered.

I've been struggling a lot with what I want to write and make readable on this site, and what I wanted to keep to myself. Not just the boyfriend thing, but a lot of things. I like having memoirs to read back on, but don't know how much I want to leave out in the open.

Perhaps I should end every night with theraflu and Jäger, so that I may be so open to sharing as I am right now.