Stewart

You know what I think is just brilliant? The fact that on The Daily Show, host John Stewart can show a Bush clip, and follow it with silence to get the biggest laugh. The fact that he needn't say a thing; that the clip itself is so mind-bogglingly stupid that it stands on its own as frighteningly hilarious.

Yeah, that's pretty brilliant.

November 5, 2004 | 7:13 AM | Link | 2 comments

Five letters

Mr. President,

Congratulations on your appointment to office in 2000. I did not vote for you, but I'm looking forward to a prosperous four years for all the people of America.

I hear they're calling you The Great Uniter. That's very promising, and I look forward to seeing this country truly brought together after such a haywire election.

Sincerely,
Jon

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Mr. President,

Congratulations on the terrorist attacks!

9/11 was exactly what you needed in order to fulfill your promise of bringing this nation together. We're all one now. Everyone's got these banners on their cars and in their offices reading "United We Stand." It's a beautiful site to see.

And hey, your approval rating went way up for it! From 30% to 90% in a matter of days. I don't think we've ever seen such a success before. Now all you need to do is find Osama, as you promised, and you'll be untouchable!

Sincerely,
Jon

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Mr. President,

I hear you're having trouble finding Osama. Don't worry, we're a people of short memories. All you need to do is keep fighting—but in a different place. The bottom line is that you need to succeed somewhere. We'll take a victory even if it isn't the one we set out for.

The best of luck,
Jon

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Mr. President,

Wow! Saddam was the weapon of mass destruction? Brilliant! I'm quite proud of how you've handled this. When you referred to WMAs, we thought you meant nuclear weapons and mustard gas, but you really just meant "crazy Iraqi." You are clearly much more intelligent than we.

I'm sorry your approval ratings aren't so high anymore. People seem so torn over the whole thing. I thought you brought us together... I'm confused.

With utmost admiration,
Jon

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Mr. President,

Congratulations on your first election win! Four more years in 2004! I did not vote for you, but I'm looking forward to a prosperous four years for all the people of America.

The people of America seem so divided these days. Are they still calling you The Great Uniter? I hope so, and I look forward to seeing this country truly brought together after such a tight and emotional election.

Sincerely,
Jon

November 3, 2004 | 12:15 PM | Link | 4 comments