Scatterbrain

Okay, so here's what you do: you get stoned and you go to Ikea. No, wait... you get stoned and you go to Ikea but you leave your wallet in the car. No! No... wait... wait. Okay. Here's what you do: You get stoned, you go to Ikea, and you leave exactly enough money in your wallet for meatballs and extra gravy. And dessert.

I've decided to become a pothead for a short while. I don't know how long for... but it just seems right. It's better for my body than liquor, that's for sure. So: a lot of pot and very little liquor. I'm not going to have sex for the foreseeable future either. Of course that's a pretty open-ended deal since I'm not clairvoyant. Also, I've decided I dislike talking on the phone.

That reminds me: today I had a 3+ hour phone meeting and I don't have a headset and I didn't want to put it on speaker since I don't have my own office. My ear really hurt after that.

I'm extremely busy. Work is hectic. I just got back from a two-week vacation at just the wrong time. My first day back was after a night spent with my head over the toilet. My first week back was warm with a throat infection. I'm playing catch up with old projects as I'm covered in new ones.

So I'm sitting here right now writing my self-review. I feel good about the work I've done this year. I know I've done a lot way outside of my job description, and I feel I did well with those projects; they were very well received. Still, I always start to feel like a loser when I do my self assessment. I always get the feeling that I could have done more and I could have done better.

I need to calm down... I mean, a couple of years ago I was all down on myself. I thought I was doing a horrible job, and my boss called me in to talk. I thought I was going to get lectured about how I could be doing better. Turns out she called me in to offer me a promotion. I guess I was doing a bang-up job after all.

So the fact that I feel like I'm doing a good job means one of two things: Either I'm doing fan-fucking-tastic, or I'm delusional and now that I think I'm doing good, I'm really doing horribly and I'm going to get canned as a thank you for my services.

Oh. In two weeks I'm going to learn PHP/MySQL. So if I get fired because I'm a horrible employee who doesn't live up to expectations, then you—yes YOU—will be able to hire me for all your rudimentary programming needs! Ain't you lucky?

Yes. Yes, you are.

September 27, 2004 | 8:34 PM | Link | 5 comments

Porpoise spit

After an absolutely wretched day with thing after thing going wrong, all it takes is to catch the tail end of Muriel's Wedding to put a fucking huge smile on my face!

:-)

September 21, 2004 | 5:51 PM | Link | 3 comments

Oh, hey

So, I've been in NYC for the past week. Last night I got a haircut by a man in a bar who had a barber fetish, and I stood on a man's chest and he polished my boots.

Good times. Good times.

Anyway, right now I have a crooked mohawk and I've blue dye sitting in it as I type away at the Apple store. More good times. I think I want sushi.

Oh! Speaking of sushi, I bought the cutest sushi set yesterday. I got placemats, places, soy dishes, and the raddest set of chopsticks ever!

(I'm gay.)

I come home Monday. Of course I don't want to.
I♥NY. Oh, and I've spent SO WAY TOO much money. But that's always fun. I was planning on buying a bag to bring things home in, but I may have to buy a whole new suitcase.

Ciao. (Again: gay.)

September 10, 2004 | 12:12 PM | Link | 1 comments