Danke

Thanks, everyone, for your advice and support on my gymnastics dilemma. It really helped.

After all the thinking and worrying and struggling, I decided to keep gymnastics, but just cut it in half. Of course I wish I could dedicate all of my time to it, but the reality is that I can't. Sean (my coach) is also very helpful. He's very motivating and encouraging. I'm very lucky.

Since my budget plan (for the next year) did not include gymnastics, and I decided to keep it, I will be living like a college student for a while. No ramen, though... I'll make my own goddamned noodles :-). No, I just have very little left over, after saving and bills, to have fun with. Recreation will be minimal.

Fortunately, baking bread and stuff like that is very cheap, and I love doing it... so it's not like I'll be sitting around bored when I'm not at work. Besides, I still have my rock climbing membership, my 24 Hour Fitness membership (which I have never used), and my 1st love, gymnastics, to keep me busy.

:-)

February 23, 2004 | 10:33 AM | Link | 6 comments

I'm struggling

Gymnastics has always been one of my great passions. I couldn't dream of giving it up, but I find myself sitting here pondering whether or not I should. As my career becomes more hectic, and as financial planning becomes more important, I wonder if I have the time or resources to fully dedicate myself to my favorite hobby.

I know that if I give it up for now I will end up returning to it eventually. It's happened before, though this would be the first time in my life I would choose to stop training. I just feel like I'm kidding myself since I can't really dedicate myself to it. I feel like I'm wasting my coach's time. I feel like I'm kidding everyone.

It's been on my mind for months now. In that time I had recharged myself... but now I must be realistic. How does it fit into my current life? What if I give it up and for some reason never return? What will my life be like without it? When I was a child and I had to be removed from my sport, I withdrew completely from all physical activities. I sat around missing gymnastics for eight years. When I grew up, and could afford to put myself back in, I did. I can't explain how happy it made me to be back with the sport I love; the feeling that filled my body after my first lesson in eight years (other than the pain, that is). I don't even really understand why I love it so much. I wonder about it all the time. Why is it such an emotional activity for me?

I do not consider myself a gymnast. That is a term I hold in high regard, and I do not live up to it. I do not consider myself an athlete for the same reason. I wish I could, but I cannot.

I don't know what I'll decide. I just hope that whatever road I decide to take, I'll end up in a good place.

February 18, 2004 | 11:30 AM | Link | 15 comments

Oh, me?

I'm just about to have a nervous breakdown... that's all.

February 18, 2004 | 10:52 AM | Link | 0 comments

Note to self:

The elevator incident-thing happened around 2am, February 11th, at the Millennium Broadway hotel.

February 17, 2004 | 8:56 AM | Link | 4 comments

Thanks, but no, thanks

Tonight I was offered a role in porn.

It's something I'd always secretly fantasized about... to be in porn. And I had secretly so wanted to be asked. Funny thing, though... my immediate answer was "Thanks, but no."

On the drive home, I started to wonder... "what if?"

February 15, 2004 | 3:22 AM | Link | 11 comments

Yippie, hoorah

Well, now I know for sure that the meeting will be in NYC. I've got the hotel info and everything. Mmm... snails! Um, so... yeah.

I'm so excited about working in the city for a couple of days. I wonder what it will do to my creativity. Good things, one would hope. At least I'll be getting to live my fantasy for a couple of days (minus the part with the eleven-toed dwarf, sadly).

February 9, 2004 | 1:48 PM | Link | 5 comments

Cram

I went to the doctor this morning, and had a nurse take my blood. I do not know why, but she ignored the huge blue vein that I always receive compliments on, and went for a tiny, invisible one right next to it. Maybe she wanted a challenge. I don't know. I do know that the needle did not feel good in this vein, and that she went too far in at first, and had to retract the needle somewhat to get blood flowing. Hmm. I now have a track that is so heroin sheik.

Note to self: Never, under any circumstances—even if you think there might be a slight possibility that the coffee from the stand at the hospital might not suck—get the coffee from the stand at the hospital. It always has, and it always will, taste like cheap liquid lollypop.

I did get out of the doc's office quick though, and I was able to run back home and get my bread before coming into work.

Tomorrow I fly into New Jersey for a meeting that will be held either there or in New York. It's looking likely that the meeting will be in NY, but I shan't get my hopes up. The whole thing is seeming a bit rushed and chaotic. I am just pleased to get a free trip to NYC. I am so going back to Jules to have their kick-ass escargot! If you like eating snails, and live in NYC, go to Jules on St. Mark's Place. It fucking rocks!

I can't wait for the reviews of Jersey Girl to come pouring in. I want it to be bad. Not as bad as Gigli, you see, because the problem with Gigli is that not enough people even saw it for it to really harm their careers. I want Jersey Girl to pull people in and then leave a really bad taste in their mouths. I'll never understand how Baffleck ever became famous, he's such a dork. And J-Lo... I just can't wait for her income to dwindle and her spending habits to soar even higher. I can see her taking out a loan from Liz Taylor any day now. (Though I somehow think Liz would have too much brain to give a loan to that hoochie. Right?)

Mmm. Fresh bread. I'm so glad Kathy got me inspired to make zopf. It's so easy, and relaxing to make. I always have fresh bread in my house these days.

My lower lip is so dry and peeling now from long kisses with a stubbled man. Note to self: Rubbing with a coarse-bristle brush every day for two weeks will be sure to toughen you up. Still, stubble is hot.

Oh, I'm so unprepared for this east coast meeting. Must do more research today. Things have been so busy with work here on the west coast, it's been hard to find the time. Whatever... I just can't wait to start charging things in NYC to my corporate card.

Oh, that reminds me: I must book my colleagues and I to that seminar today. It's called "Business Grammar for Busy Professionals." Sounds exiting, don't it?

February 9, 2004 | 10:45 AM | Link | 5 comments

Football sucks

Yep, you heard it here.